I could never forgive
myself for the mistakes
I made in the past
In my memories they shall stay
haunting me.
Cursing me
for giving them life
I only wish I knew how to change
and how to forgive myself
but I did this
I fucked up.
Now I am being
punished.
Not being able to forget…
I’ve been so blind
for so long
I want to learn to see.
I haven’t listened
to anyone
I want to learn to hear.
If only I could
learn to speak
how I feel for you
at the right time.
Please,
help me…
help me learn,
learn to forget
and forgive myself.
Tag Archives: stuff I wrote ages ago
Forgive Myself
Cycles
The cycles
the patterns
repeating over
and over
until I get it
right
until I learn
the events
the happenings
are played over
and over
until I realize
my mistakes
until I see
Aftermath
Standing amidst the dead and the dying, he looks out across the bloodied field.
“The butcher’s bill is going to be high”
Looking down at his gloved hands, The leather soaked with the blood of years of conquest and battle.
He can still see a glint of crimson in the metal, try as he might, to clean them throughout the years.
Maybe it’s some form of remorse.
Looking down at his gloved hands, The leather soaked with the blood of years of conquest and battle.
He can still see a glint of crimson in the metal, try as he might, to clean them throughout the years.
Maybe it’s some form of remorse.
“Is this what I saw myself doing twelve years ago?”
Already, those whom he assigned, are carrying out their orders.
Gathering the dead, and clearing out the field.
Taking down the names of those who have fallen, so that he can enter their names into his book.
His tribute to them, a sign that he will always honor those who have served under him, bled and died for him.
Already, those whom he assigned, are carrying out their orders.
Gathering the dead, and clearing out the field.
Taking down the names of those who have fallen, so that he can enter their names into his book.
His tribute to them, a sign that he will always honor those who have served under him, bled and died for him.
“I wonder what will become of us when all this is said and done? Will there be a place for us, for me, in this… thing, this world that we’ve created? The years of all this weigh heavily upon me, how much have I changed? What have I become?”
At the sound of his name, he pulls himself away from his thoughts.
At the sound of his name, he pulls himself away from his thoughts.
“Yes captain?”
“We’re awaiting your orders Sir.”
“Standard procedures, don’t forget to collect the skulls. Send a message to the Generals to meet me in the TacTent in two hours time.”
“Yes Sir.”
After he leaves, he turns to the Captain of his guard, “Juxtare, gather up the girls, we’ll be leaving immediately after the debriefing. We are going to finish the negotiations with these people. Perhaps, they might be less likely to fall under the two percent rule and actually listen to what we have to say.”
Let me be
Let me be
the one you call
in the middle of the night
Let me be
the one you need
when you’re losing the fight
Let me be
something special
and meaningful in your life
Let me be
if you don’t care
So I can carry on with my life